Susan Granger’s review of “MacGruber” (Rogue Pictures)
Stretching a one-minute “Saturday Night Live” spoof of the “MacGyver” 1986-1992 TV series, starring Richard Dean Anderson, into 90 minutes is the first offense; the second is gearing this raunchy R-rated vehicle to an audience of 14 year-olds.
Arrogant MacGruber (SNL’s Will Forte) is the only American ever to earn the rank of Green Beret, Navy SEAL and Army Ranger. He’s been awarded three Congressional Medals of Honor, seven Presidential Medals of Bravery and 16 Purple Hearts.
In the 10 years since his fiancée was killed, he’s been hiding out in an Ecuadorian monastery. But he’s summoned back into action because his boss, Colonel James Faith (Powers Boothe, channeling Richard Crenna), believes he’s the only man who can stop an evil villain named Dieter von Cunth (paunchy Val Kilmer), who has stolen a Russian nuclear missile that he plans to use to kill the President. Perhaps that’s because MacGruber’s forte is fashioning home-made weapons from everyday household items like dental floss, duct tape and sink cleaner. Or maybe it’s because it was Dieter von Cunth who blew up MacGruber’s bride Casey (Maya Rudolph) at their wedding ceremony.
Mulleted MacGruber’s hastily assembled two-person support team includes a straight-arrow soldier, Lt. Dixon Piper (Ryan Phillippe), and a wacky former operative-turned-pop singer, Vicki St. Elmo (SNL’s Kristen Wiig), who was his late wife’s best friend. What follows are lame retreads of “Rambo” and “Die Hard” which are not funny, primarily because they’ve already been done to death – and the fact that MacGruber’s a certifiable creep.
Witlessly written by Will Forte, John Solomon and director Jorma Taccone, it’s chock full of gross sex jokes, scatological humor, graphic violence and male nudity. I kid you not: in one scene, MacGruber cavorts naked with a celery stalk sticking out of his derriere. Then there’s the seemingly endless repetition of Dieter Von Cunth’s name.
On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “MacGruber” is a coarse, crude, vulgar 2. But wait, when this inane mockery hits homevideo – with no parental guidance necessary – it’s going to soar.
