Susan Granger’s review of “I Love You, Beth Cooper” (20th Century Fox)
On Chris Columbus directorial credits, you’ll find “Home Alone,” “Adventures in Babysitting” and “Mrs. Doubtfire,” along with the first two Harry Potter movies, but something went terribly awry with this wannabe teen comedy – and I suspect all mention of it will quickly disappear from his bio.
The premise revolves around Buffalo Grove High School’s dorky valedictorian Denis Cooverman (Paul Rust). Egged on by his geeky, movie-obsessed best friend Rich (Jack T. Carpenter), who may or may not be gay, he decides to boldly “seize the day” at graduation and expresses his innermost thoughts. Those include not only his adoration of the popular, diminutive blonde cheerleader Beth Cooper (Hayden Panettiere) but also his disdain for her ROTC boy-friend Kevin (Shawn Roberts), among others. Expecting humiliation and rejection, he’s stunned that Beth – recklessly looking for laughs – shows up at his somewhat solitary grad-night ‘party,’ along with two catty cheerleading chums, Cammy (Lauren London) and Treece (Laurel Storm), pursued by drug-addled, revenge-seeking Kevin and two of his menacing friends. That leads Denis and Rich into a chaotic, all-night binge of mischief, merriment and public humiliations.
“This isn’t fun anymore,” Denis says. “Who said it’s supposed to be fun?” counters Beth – which pretty well summarizes this entire movie-going experience.
Whether the fault lies with Chris Columbus’ inept casting or writer Larry Doyle’s formulaic screenplay, adapted from his 2007 coming-of-age novel, is anyone’s guess, but the episodic result is filled with stereotypical characters blathering banal, cliché-riddled dialogue with predictable consequences. While he may look like a teenager at first glance, Paul Rust is actually 28 years old and his maturity soon not only becomes not only obvious but a bit creepy, while Hayden Panettiere, known from “Heroes,” repeats her perky TV persona (minus the superpowers), vainly attempting to exude some semblance of vulnerability. But what’s with the sex and cocaine jokes in what’s supposed to be a featherweight PG-13 farce? On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “I Love You, Beth Cooper” thuds with a lame 3. Avoid it.
