Susan Granger’s review of “Drive Hard” (Odyssey Media/Image Entertainment)
Whatever happened to John Cusack’s career? Why is this once A-list actor now appearing in an idiotic heist clunker like this? That’s just a rhetorical question. Obviously, he needs the money.
Concocted by three credited screenwriters (Chad Law, Evan Law, Brigitte Jean Allen) along with Australian director Brian Trenchard-Smith, this potboiler revolves around Peter Roberts(Thomas Jane), a former race car driver who is now working as a driving instructor, and Simon Keller (Cusack), a fellow American who, ostensibly, hires him to learn how to navigate the ‘opposite’ side of the road in Queensland. But that’s not the real reason. What Simon really needs is a getaway driver to help him escape when he pulls an audacious bank heist that nets $9 million in bearer bonds. And that’s what kidnapped Peter is forced to do – at gunpoint.
As they’re doggedly pursued up the Gold Coast by state and federal law enforcement officers, along with the bank’s unscrupulous henchmen, they banter back and forth. Most of it sounds hastily improvised, rather than thoughtfully scripted. Clad in black, including a hat and dark glasses, Simon gives frantic, henpecked Peter marital advice on how to handle his nagging attorney wife (Yesse Spence) who wants him to take a more lucrative office job to help support their adolescent daughter (Francesca Bianchi). There are also unfortunate encounters with a foulmouthed, pistol-packing old lady (Carol Burns), a bevy of bikers at a bar, and an ill-fated, trigger-happy convenience-store clerk.
If the cliché-filled dialogue is insipid and dull, the chaotic action footage is even more tedious. Years ago, Brian Trenchard-Smith churned out low-budget B-movies like “Dead End Drive-In,” “Leprechaun,” “Turkey Shoot” and something called “BMX Bandits,” which featured a very young Nicole Kidman. Except for casting the two well-known Hollywood actors, this wannabe crime-caper comedy is hardly a step up.
On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Drive Hard” stalls out with a disappointing 2, running out of gas far too quickly.
