Susan Granger’s review of “Let’s Be Cops” (20th Century-Fox)
Oh, let’s not! In this colossal waste of time and talent, thirtysomething nitwits Ryan (Jake Johnson), a former college quarterback who never made it to the NFL, and Justin (Damon Wayans Jr.), a low-level video-game designer, dress up in what look like genuine police uniforms for a Purdue University reunion that they mistakenly believe is a costume party. As they walk back home afterwards, they suddenly discover that they’re suddenly given the respect and power they’ve missed in ordinary life in Los Angeles. So when Ryan finds a used police car for sale on eBay, they take their impersonations one step further – by purchasing bullet-proof vests and other paraphernalia, learning law enforcement lingo and going out on patrol in their disguises.
While Justin enjoys the attention of Josie (Nina Dobrev), a beautiful waitress who yearns to be a Hollywood makeup artist, their charade misfires when they encounter a gang of Eastern European mobsters, headed by Mossi (James D’Arcy), a veritable psychopath, who shows intense interest in the little restaurant where Josie works. Accompanied by Segars(Rob Riggle), a veteran cop who, at first, thinks they’re authentic, they find themselves entangled in a criminal investigation that’s ‘way above their pay-grade.
Lamely scripted by Nicholas Thomas and director Luke Greenfield (“The Animal”), this tedious wannabe action comedy misfires from the get-go, as gag-after-gag falls flat. And it doesn’t help much that Keegan-Michael Key, Natasha Leggro, and Andy Garcia turn up in generic supporting roles. Not surprisingly, the discarded scenes that accompany the concluding credits are funnier than anything that preceded them. Let’s put it this way: since Damon Wayans Jr. and Jake Johnson co-star on “New Girl,” let’s hope they don’t give up their television jobs.
On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Let’s Be Cops” is a rotten 2. You have the right to refrain.