Susan Granger’s review of “Ted” (Universal Pictures)
I’d have loved to be at the studio meeting when “Family Guy” creator Seth MacFarlane pitched the high-concept premise for this live action/CG-animated, R-rated comedy about a guy, his girl and his gross teddy bear.
Narrated by Patrick Stewart, it begins at Christmas as lonely eight-year old John Bennett (Brett Manley) hugs his new teddy bear, one that squeaks “I love you” when you squeeze it. That night, he wishes on a falling star that his stuffed animal could really talk. The next morning Teddy comes to life, startling Johnny, his parents and the rest of the world. Like all ‘instant celebrities,’ however, Teddy’s fame fades and he settles in as John’s constant companion and boorish best-buddy.
Working at a Boston car rental agency, 35 year-old John (Mark Wahlberg) is a man-child, dwelling in a state of arrested development, refusing to accept the responsibility that comes with maturity. After a particularly appalling evening in which bong-sucking, profanity-spewing Ted caroused with prostitutes, John’s long-time, live-in girl-friend Lori Collins (Mila Kunis) insists that Ted move out. To be able to afford his own apartment and beer-brawls, Ted gets a job at the local supermarket where he begins romancing floozy cashier Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth). Meanwhile, Rex (Joel McHale), Lori’s lecherous boss, has his own agenda. And when Ted entices John to sneak out of Rex’s lavish party to nostalgically down shots with TV’s former Flash Gordon (Sam Jones), their relationship implodes, as John laments, “I wish I’d gotten a Teddy Ruxpin.” But then Ted gets kidnapped.
First-time writer/director/voice star Seth MacFarlane finds humor in a myriad of rude, offensive pop-culture references, aided and abetted by “Family Guy” co-writers Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild, plus a Norah Jones cameo. Boyish-looking Mark Wahlberg is totally convincing talking with his teddy bear, reminiscent of Jimmy Stewart chatting with the invisible rabbit in “Harvey,” except that everyone can hear what Ted has to say.
On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Ted” is an amusing, irreverent, outrageous 8 – the weirdest, funniest movie I’ve seen in a long time.
