Susan Granger’s review of “JUST MARRIED” (20th Century-Fox)
Geared specifically for teenagers, this romantic comedy about troubled newlyweds utilizes something old (Sam Harper’s predictable script), something new (the nubile, allegedly inseparable co-stars), something borrowed (scenes from “Meet the Parents,” “There’s Something About Mary” and TV’s “Home Improvement”) and something blue (adult ennui for 95 minutes). When director Shawn Levy (“Big Fat Liar”) teamed Brittany Murphy (“8 Mile”) with Ashton Kutcher (“Dude, Where’s My Car?”), he played Cupid. This pairing has generated the kind of teen gossip that hasn’t been seen since Freddie Prinze Jr. found Sarah Michelle Gellar. Unfortunately, too little of their chemistry is reflected on-screen as this goofy “You’re too young to be married” couple embarks on a getting-to-know-you journey en route to happily-ever-after. When wealthy Wellesley-grad Sarah McNerney (Brittany Murphy) married Tom Leezak (Ashton Kutcher), a dim-witted, blue-collar, late-night radio traffic-reporter in Los Angeles, they knew they had cultural differences but what they didn’t realize was how their diverse tastes would cause friction during their European honeymoon. Like when they’re in Venice: he’d rather watch a Dodgers game in a bar than ogle the Tintorettos on church walls. At other times, their mishaps are just stupid – like plugging an American electrical appliance into a European socket. Plus there’s the appearance of Sarah’s smarmy old flame (Christian Kane) who’s been sent by her snobbish parents to break them up. Expect endless, boorish slapstick, particularly pratfalls, before the overtly sentimental conclusion. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Just Married” is a blandly immature, irritating 3 – unless you’re a teenager desperate for a date-movie.
