Susan Granger’s review of “The Tuxedo” (DreamWorks)
When shy cabbie-turned-chauffeur Jimmy Tong (Jackie Chan) goes to work for playboy New York millionaire Clark Devlin (Jason Isaacs), he learns one primary rule: Never touch the boss’s prized tuxedo. That’s because the industrialist is also a free-lance CSA (that’s a hybrid CIA/NSA) secret agent whose multi-million-dollar government-issued outfit is far more than mere formal garb; it’s equipped with an automatic self-defense system, built-in Xerox machine and secret video camera, not to mention all the skills necessary to make its wearer a kingpin in the espionage world. (Actually, Giorgio Armani designed the classic one-button classic black wool crepe with narrow notched satin lapels, a satin cummerbund, classic shirt and bow tie – which ties itself!) But when Devlin is in a coma, injured by a skateboard bomb, Jimmy assumes his identity, dons the spiffy computerized duds, partners with a brash rookie CSA agent Del Blaine (Jennifer Love Hewitt) and does battle against the villainous Diedrich Banning (Richie Coster), a bottled water tycoon who has hatched a diabolical plot for world domination by using insects known as water striders to contaminate fresh water, forcing everyone to buy his pure H2O or simply dehydrate. Former TV commercial director Kevin Donovan does the best he can with the silly, lame script by Michael J. Wilson and Michael Leeson from a scientifically implausible story by Phil Hay, Matt Manfredi and Michael J. Wilson. The most amusing scene involves Jackie Chan’s goofy impersonation of soul sensation James Brown and, curiously, genial Chan’s legendary stunts are edited to look like high-tech F/X. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “The Tuxedo” is an action-packed 5. If you go, don’t miss the closing credits with ad-libs and flubbed lines.
