Susan Granger’s review of “BIG TROUBLE” (Disney/Touchstone Films)
Perhaps – before Sept. 11th – a comedy about dim-witted thugs smuggling a nuclear bomb aboard an airplane would have been funny. Now it just makes you cringe. Yet, even when writers Robert Ramsey & Matthew Stone (working from humorist Dave Barry’s book) and director Barry Sonnenfeld aren’t making fun of shoddy airport security, bribery-prone ticket agents, drunk security guards, and blowing up Miami, the humor seems recycled – a bit from “Get Shorty,” a tad from “Rat Race.” The flimsy plot revolves around two hitmen (Dennis Farina, Jack Kehler) from Newark who are sent to kill Arthur, a sleazy, toe-sucking businessman (Stanley Tucci) who’s skimming money from his “sugar-cane scumbag” employers. Arthur’s long-suffering wife (Rene Russo) and disgruntled step-daughter (Zooey Deschanel) are transfixed by chirpy Martha Stewart, whose head is imposed on the family dog, courtesy of a huge hallucinogenic-spitting toad. Meanwhile, there’s ex-Miami Herald feature writer (Tim Allen) whose teenage son (Ben Foster) is into a squirt-gun game called Killer – which puts him on a collision course with two inept thieves (Tom Sizemore, Johnny Knoxville), two bumbling cops (Janeane Garofalo, Patrick Warburton), two shady FBI agents (Omar Epps, Dwight “Heavy D” Myers), one Peruvian housemaid (Sofia Vergara), a Fritos-freak named Puggy (Jason Lee) who lives in a tree, a mysterious suitcase and a herd of goats. Whew! Cavorting with a punchy 14-person cast rarely works, and this broad farce is no exception. It’s simply not funny. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Big Trouble” is a stupid, thudding 3. And when Stanley Tucci finally screams, “Get me outta here!” – he expressed my sentiments exactly. “Big Trouble” = big bomb.
